I Piss on Your gods!

By ajibolaoluti

A man who puts aside his religion because
he is going into society, is like one taking off
his shoes because he is about to walk upon thorns. –Cecil

1–DEFIANCE
“Anetor, Anetor, Anetor,” the Ovia High Priest voice floated above the din of the town people who came to watch the ‘court’ in session. He pointed a finger sporting a dirty looking fingernail at me. “You, you you,” he shook like a banana leaf in a violet whirlwind. His piercing eyes the colour of burning coal ran over my body from head to toe. I shivered. Cold fear seized me. “How many times did I call you?”
“Three times sir,” I answered, staring at my shoes. “God give me strength. Fortify my spirit. Do not let these unbelievers intimidate me with their ridiculous costumes,” I prayed under my breath. I shook my body to calm my frail nerves.
The Ovia High chief dressed in the full regalia reminiscence of the yearly Ovia festival, sat on a high backed chair facing the town people. Eight other chiefs sat by his sides. They glared at me with eyes red and rolling in their sockets. The High Priest in his Ovia festival day dress, starched and bedecked in native decorations could intimidate mortals and non-mortals alike.
I faced them with my hand held behind my back. My big worn out bible nesting in the cup my fingers gave me comfort and confidence.
Cool breeze caressed my face as leaves dried by the harmattan dropped from the big Iroko tree on my hair. I ignored them.
Underneath the Iroko tree, the remaining chiefs sat behind the eight senior chiefs facing the crowd. I stared at their eager and anxious faces. They looked too ready to pass judgment on those who by their action or inaction offended the gods of the land. That day, only one culprit stood before them.
The whole town gathered around in a semi circle to watch the ‘court’ in session. I looked at the placid faces of the town people. I shrugged. I will show these people I worship a living God. I will open their eyes to the reality that Ovia-a beautiful ornamental bonze carved in the image of the devil-cannot by itself punish any man.
“What devil made you disobey the elder’s instruction?” The High priest asked looking directly into my eyes.
I stared right back at him without blinking. “I did not sir,” I shifted from one tired leg to the other. I waited for their pre-determined ‘justice.’ This they dispense with gusto on behalf of a god that cannot defend itself.
“You mean you were part of the team that cleared the market road?”
“No sir,” I would love to kick the stupid face of the High priest in, stuff the blood into his monkey looking mouth and watch him beg for mercy. The thought warmed my spirit.
“I told you he is stubborn,” the most senior elder said, his voice replete with satisfaction. He clenched his fist. He would love nothing better than hit the stupid boy who became a Christian yesterday, who now thinks he could disregard the instruction of the elders with impunity.
“Sir, how could you say such a thing about me? You know I am a law abiding citizen of this town who would never disobey the elders without cogent reasons.”
“Why then did you refuse to take part in clearing the market road,” the elder asked. He nodded at the other elders as if for confirmation or approval, “please tell us.”
“Because today is Sunday.”
“Tuah,” the High Priest spat, “but you do eat on Sunday, don’t you?”
“That is different sir,” I opened my bible. I browsed for an appropriate quotation to back me up. “It said here that we should honour the Sabbath and keep it holy,” I cleared my throat. I tried hard not to laugh at the ridiculous outfit of the High priest.
“My fathers,” I continued, picking my words as if talking to little children, “you all know I am a pastor and a founder of my own denomination, as such, I cannot be seen doing any work on a Sunday.”
“May thunder break your head,” one of the elders I could not remember his name kicked the empty keg of palm wine placed before him. He looked at the broken gourd, his face a mask of fury. He glared at me as if somehow, I broke the gourd myself. “Is it not just yesterday you went to pastor school? Is it what has gone into your head now?”
I covered my face with my palms. The man’s head reminded me of a big cocoyam. To call anyone a cocoyam head is to say the person is a dunce. People knew the chief as not too brilliant, which makes cocoyam head, suits him perfectly. Laughter built up from the bottom of my stomach, ready to explode. I turned my face away from him, and held my sides. I placed the two palms of my hands on my face. I held my lips together with my fingers. If I released my lips by mistake, the laughter would come out in torrents. I brought my bible to my face to prevent the elders seeing my merry face.
“Will you put that stupid book down!” the High Priest shouted with venom in his voice. “You dare tell us you cannot work on Sunday. Is it not in that bible of yours that you should obey your elders and give unto Caesar what is Caesar and unto God what is God?”
I was not surprised that the man could quote the bible so eloquently. Even the devil can quote the bible.
“Anyway,” the High Priest continued, “we have killed a fowl and prepared it, but the fowl belongs to Ovia. You know what that means.”
Ovia is the most powerful god in the town. Everybody dreaded the god. No one swear falsely by Ovia for fear of retribution. The god laterally rewrote its own code about crime and punishment. It meted out automatic punishment to those who swear falsely by it.
The custom of the town forbade any man to turn down the elder’s invitation to clear the market road. Whosoever refused this invitation buys a goat or a fowl for the elders. In anticipation that I would buy one as a fine, the elders grabbed the next available fowl. This fowl had already been dedicated as a sacrifice to the god Ovia.
“My elders, I don’t know what that means, but it is said in this bible,” I lifted it up for all of them to see. “‘Thou shall not steal.’ You elders grabbed a fowl that does not belong to you and roasted it. This is contrary to the law of God and the teachings of the bible. You expected me to replace this fowl. I cannot do this because my bible also said, ‘thou shall worship no other God but me.’ If I replace this fowl, it would amount to providing a sacrifice to your god, which my bible forbids. I am sorry my elders, I cannot do this.”
The eyes of the elders changed from brown to red. Some opened their mouth unable to close them. Noah could not have uttered those words. Who is Noah? They shook with murderous rage. If they had the power or if it were in those bygone days, they would sacrifice me there and then to their gods.
“You dare call us thieves and insulted the gods of our father’s land?” the High priest asked, his face registered his unbelief. “If a child says his mother will not sleep, he too will not know peace. Elders, let us go. The gods he insulted would deal with him.”
Their threat did not move me. The gods did not scare me. By themselves, the gods are powerless. The course of action of the elders scared me a little. They would go to any length to prove that the gods dealt with me.
The elders left one by one, shaking their fist in my face to indicate I was in trouble.
“I am not scared of your gods, neither I am sacred of your threat. I have the living God as my shield. Wood and iron gods are nothing where the Almighty lives. I piss on your gods. I dare them to fight me. Jesus the son of God is my witness, if I do not make all your gods prostrate to me; I am not the son of my father.” I murmured to their retreating back.
The people in the town believed anybody cursed by the High Priest dies after three days. No one could remember since the inception of the town, one incidence of disobedience to the elders.
No one would dare refuse to buy a fowl for the elders on demand. I not only refused to buy the elders a fowl, I refused to replace the one dedicate to Ovia which the elders killed.
The whole town discussed in hush tones the imminent death of Noah before three days. It was not a question of if Noah would die but how and when.
They waited for my demise. The elders visited me in the night in different kinds of forms. Masquerades appeared in my dreams with cutlasses to harm me. I fought them and defeated them. Sometimes, they appeared not in my dreams but in the daytime. I still defeated them. Twice I opened my wardrobe to find a black mamba-an African deadly snake- coiled inside. I would dip my hand into my pocket and came out with snakes. When I called Holy Ghost fire, they disappeared. Fire ignited on my bed a couple of times. I invoked the blood of the lamb and it dies.
To counter the antics of the elders, I embarked on a three days dry fasting. I asked the living God to throw confusion into the midst of the elders.
When I lived the life of sin back in 1992, something happened to convinced me God loved me. I became a Christian at an early age because my father was one. My father believed Christianity does not compel one to abandon his tradition. He sacrificed a goat once in a year to his personal god in his room.
One Sunday, I came back from church, and prayed as usual. That day, I prayed as I never prayed before. I did not know why, but something kept urging me on.
In a vision that night, a man appeared to me and told me to stop smoking. He slapped me several times.
“Stop your life of sin and give your life to Jesus Christ.”
“How do I do that?” I asked.
He slapped me again, “Just give your life to Christ.”
When I woke up, I became a changed person. I became born again.
A big timber tree demarcated my landlord’s land and the High Priest. My landlord cut down the tree. He claimed its ownership. This act infuriated the High Priest who summoned a meeting of the elders to call my landlord to order.
The elders instead of doing that declared that the timber belonged to my landlord. The High Priest shot at my landlord when he saw him on the land the following day. He vowed to deal with the elders one by one.
Many of the elders took side with my landlord because of his wealth while few took side with the High Priest. This incident created confusion among the elders. They forgot about my case while they tried to settle the rift my powerful prayers created among them.
When I did not die after three days, I became the talk of the town. Many people trooped to my house to see me. The church I started in my house with only my relatives no longer contained the people that came for worship and prayer.
That night after Sunday’s service, I knelt down and thanked God for His miracles.
An incidence that happened in my own village few years back after my pastoral training confirmed me as a man with great anointing.
There lived a paralytic woman of many years of suffering her disability in my village. One day in my dream, I found myself in the woman’s house. Many demons with horns surrounded her. They bowed down and parted for me to pass on my way to the woman’s bed. I prayed for her and healed her.
The next day I informed my brother that God instructed me to go and cure the paralytic woman. When we got there, I said to the woman, “Madam God sent me to you to pray for you so that you could receive your miracles. Do you believe Jesus can heal you?”
“I believe,” replied the woman.
I prayed and commanded the woman to walk. As I prayed, the woman fell down. She cried as soon as I touched her. She screamed I should stop cutting her legs with razor blade. I prayed until sweat covered me all over. I commanded the woman in the name of Jesus to walk. The woman stood up and walked.
The following Sunday, twenty-five souls converted to Christ in my church. Praise God. The room we used as church could not contain all the people that turned up for service. Many stood outside the windows to listen to the sermon.
The following day, I rented a six-room apartment in the town, which I converted to my church. Less than six months after, three Pastors came under my tutelage. Everything went without any ugly incident until the event that made me fled the town for Lagos occurred.

Ps. This is the first part of the story of a man whose anoiting is so great he performs miracles that would confound many people. You can read the rest at http://www.lulu.com/account/1233231 or  http://www.esnips.com/web/ajibolaolutisnrsBusinessFiles

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply